i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
