were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
