I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
