i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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