I want to make a zoo with you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
