I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My balls are so social today.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
