Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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