i jhust puked up my retainher.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
