hell yes lets make some ravioli
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
