I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
