so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
