Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well I just put wine in my tea
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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