Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
