remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
