What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
