we have pet lesbian snakes
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
