So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
