"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
