Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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