So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
