Dude my mom stole all your condoms
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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