Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
