ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
