mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
nutella sex= disaster
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
