If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
