She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
