Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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