i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
