i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She needs sedatives and a leash
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This is my gift to your gina
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
