Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
