I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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