just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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