Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
