have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
