you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
