you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
