Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
