i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
These tits shall not be calmed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
