OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
