i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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