dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize