There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
