so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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