hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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