I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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