I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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