Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
