that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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