based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
