Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
