no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
