Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
