What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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