I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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