I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize