I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize