she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
