so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
