You're so nebulous sometimes
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
