Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I smell stomach acid.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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