I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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