$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
