Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it was like eating out sand paper
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
