Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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