whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
